How to be more kind & loving to yourself
The last few months (or I should say a year!) have been hard on all of us. The times of hardship have taken a toll on our overall well-being as a lot of our habits, routines and safety nets that were keeping us grounded went out the window. Each of us are dealing with our own challenges, fears and doubt as we’re building new routines, continue to work from home, socializing over zoom, wearing sweatpants ALL the time and only dreaming about travelling.
If there is one thing that we all could use a little bit more of these days, it’s being more kind and loving to ourselves (and others). Now more than ever it’s important that we find understanding and self-compassion as we navigate the deep, unknown waters. Use my tips below to learn how to become your best friend that loves and appreciates you regardless of what are you going through these days.
7 Tips to be more kind and loving to yourself
1. Honour your own journey - and try not to compare yourself to others. Some people might seem ahead of you while some are behind you and that’s ok. We’re all walking our own path, at our own pace. Remember, you are exactly where you need to be. Your challenges, accomplishments, resources and skills are unique to you. Instead of spending your energy on comparison, use it to work on the things that bring you joy and move you forward. One step at a time.
2. Notice your inner dialogue - pay attention to your thoughts and inner dialogue during the day. How do you talk to yourself when looking in the mirror, putting on/taking off your clothes, working out, walking around, taking your pic/seeing a pic of yourself, scrolling through social media or having a conversation with someone.
Instead of wanting to change how you feel, look, move and act, can you meet yourself exactly as you are. It might be easier on the days when you feel confident and glowing but the inner work of self-love is even more important during those moments when you don’t feel so great.
3. Get to know yourself better - spend some time each day engaging in practices that bring you closer to yourself. It could be through movement, meditation, journaling, crafting, self-care practices, reading or listening to podcasts.
There are many different ways to discover what lights you up, things you like and don’t, what are your core values and deep desires, where you draw your boundaries, how you express yourself, love, show affection and more. The self-discovery process can feel uncomfortable at times, but only when you know yourself, can you love and appreciate the person you are.
4. Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad - the pressure to look and act a certain way on social media is real. How often does your scrolling start with just ‘checking what’s new’ and ends hours later with you completely doubting every aspect of your life after you’ve seen tons of perfectly curated content.
Social media can be super inspiring and uplifting but also be very much like a rabbit hole of constant comparison. But you know what is the best thing? You are in charge of choosing who and what you wanna follow. If there is an account that makes you feel bad about yourself, you can simply hit unfollow and instead, focus on people that inspire you, teach you something new, you resonate with their story or they truly make you feel heard and seen.
5. Accept yourself unconditionally - accepting means embracing both, the good and the bad. Not every morning is going to be a good hair day. Just as there are times when you’re full of energy, glowing, feeling productive and things are working out, there are also moments when you’re feeling down, have negative thoughts, are full of self doubt or don’t like what you’re seeing in the mirror. It’s simply called life where the ups don’t exist without the downs. Instead of thinking, I’ll love myself when I look this way/have this thing, meet yourself as you are. Wouldn’t you do the same for your best friend?
6. Understand your menstrual cycle - your monthly cycle is more than PMS and the bleeding itself. There are 4 phases and each brings different energy, mood and emotions. Once you better understand how your body and mind shift with each phase, you can be more kind to yourself regardless of where you are.
During your bleeding phase your energy is at the lowest and it’s time to pull back, go inward and rest. Then comes the follicular phase when you’re more productive, outgoing and optimistic. During your ovulatory phase you tend to be very social, communicative and feel confident - it’s time to push yourself out of your comfort zone. During luteal phase, progesterone makes you feel sleepy and slows your digestion. Take a nap, do a restorative class and know that it’s ok if you wanna spend more time alone.
7. Don’t be so hard on yourself - did you know that we tend to be harder on ourselves than anyone else? Take a moment to check in with the expectations you have for yourself. How long is your to do list? Do you have to do it all by yourself? Does everything have to be perfect all the time? Do you always have to have the right answer?
How about you allow yourself to make mistakes because that’s how you learn. Give yourself extra time to complete a task if you need it or reach out for help. Become aware of your skills and abilities rather than obsessing about your weaknesses. No one is amazing at everything. Remember, you are unique and enough simply the way you are. Keep showing up and doing your best.