5 Actions Rooted In Self-Love
Self-love is not only about bubble baths, manicures and massages, although these are definitely a nice part of it. Self-love goes way beyond just the surface of your smooth and glowing skin. The journey starts the moment you embrace yourself simply as you are without wanting to change about a million things at once. It’s a process of giving yourself the compassion, respect and kindness you deserve for being you. When you become aware of your uniqueness and stop comparing yourself to others, you will create a sense of self-love and begin to act and speak from this place.
5 actions coming from a place of self-love
1. Saying no and being ok with it - remember, saying no to things that take away your energy will create more room and time for activities that light you up. This goes hand in hand with creating healthy boundaries which doesn’t mean that you have to build a wall around you. Rather, slowly begin to recognize those moments when you tend to say yes such as helping out/staying longer at work or replying to one more email even though deep within you actually see yourself hanging out with your partner, going to that Pilates class or reading your favourite book on the couch. What if next time you politely say no and be completely ok with it? You will get a chance to do the thing you love and fill your own cup.
2. Relaxing without feeling guilty - you literally just had the busiest week and you’re telling all your friends and co-workers how you can’t wait to relax on the weekend. Saturday comes around and you’re up at 7am to hit the gym, make glorious breakfast, clean your place, do laundry, and the list goes on because busy=worthy in our minds.
Somewhere along the way we were told that in order to feel accomplished, we need to be overly productive. All the time! We feel guilty when we don't have a long list of duties to check off. Challenge yourself to not make plans every weekend and instead just go with the flow. Wake up in the morning without the alarm and don’t panic if it’s “already” 8.00am. Slow down and let the day unfold organically. Notice how your body feels and what it’s asking for.
3. Moving your body - our bodies are designed to move, every day! See if you can make movement your non-negotiable. It’s all about getting out of your head and into your body in any way you like - nature walk, running, biking, swimming, group classes or dancing around in your underwear. The possibilities are endless and the rush of endorphins, the feeling of happiness, better sleep and increased brain function are worth the effort.
Try to let go of the all or nothing mindset. I used to think that anything under 90 minutes didn’t count. Now there are days when my movement looks like 5 sun salutations and some stretches while the dinner is cooking on the stove and it still leaves me with a big smile on my face.
4. Being kind and loving towards yourself - pay attention to your thoughts and dialogue during the day. How do you talk to yourself when looking in the mirror, putting on/taking off your clothes, working out, walking around, taking your pic/seeing a pic of yourself, scrolling through social media or having a conversation with someone.
Instead of wanting to change how you feel, look, move and act, can you met yourself exactly as you are. It might be easier on the days when you feel confident and glowing but the inner work of self-love is even more important during those moments when you don’t feel so great. Accepting yourself during both the ups and downs leads to the unconditional self-love.
5. Allowing yourself to feel the emotions - trust me when I say ignoring or avoiding your emotions doesn’t come from a place of self-love. This one took me a while to figure out and I would quietly pride myself on not crying/ becoming too emotional. By acknowledging your feelings you’re simply bringing awareness to your vast inner landscape.
There is so much going on under the surface! Instead of pushing it aside/pretending it doesn’t exist or feeling ashamed for what you find, embrace what comes up. Then take a moment to observe. Where does the feeling come from? What was the trigger? Let it come and go, without holding onto it.
6. Having a meditation practice - meditating doesn’t have to be complicated and you can simply start by setting aside even just 2 minutes each day. Find out what time of day works for you - you can begin the morning by setting an intention, or unwind in the evening by letting go whilst listening to relaxing music in bed.
Meditation ties into my previous point about being aware of what’s going on within your own body and deepening your connection to it. Find a comfortable seat or lie down, close your eyes, bring your awareness to your breath and observe. I know, easier said than done so be patient with yourself as you embark on a journey towards your calmer, less stressed and more focused self. Just remember, it’s ok to start again if you miss a day or two.